Man, it's been just about forever since I posted on here, or even signed on. Truth is, Blogger, I've been...seeing someone else. I'M SORRY! It's not that I don't care for you, because I do, it's just that what we had has died, that passion, that "umph", isn't there anymore. Please don't be sad, you've given me some really great times and really great laughs but it's time that I move on don't you think? I mean, it's for the best.
What's his name you ask?
His name is...Tumblr.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Haven't felt like this in...NEVER.
-sighs- i met a guy. and he has me trippppppiiinnn. lol
I met him and we literally only spoke for 1 minute, but I thought about him the rest of the day, and now we've been talking, and he's like...got me going crazy.
How do you fall into something so deep within a minute?! This is crazy, it might be infatuation, but I really hope it isn't. He makes me stop everything I'm doing. He makes me waste hours waiting to see his name pop up on facebook in hopes that he'll private chat me again.
The first time he did it, my heart sounded like the drum arrangement on Kelly Clarkson's song "Behind these Hazel Eyes". I almost had a panic attack and died.
See, this is why I try not to crush on guys too much. They throw me out of my game. Everyone thinks he likes me, and I hope he does, but then again i hope he doesn't because i am so scared. lol Hence the real reason I've never had a bf. idk what to do. =( And I'm scared it won't work or last. I don't wanna cry or break up or get dumped. Because..then what?
How can we still be friends. I'll always wonder "what if we didnt break up". But I suppose if I ran away now I'd always wonder "what if" anyway. So I'd rather experience it and KNOW what it's about, then sit outside and wonder the wrong "what if" for the rest of my life.
Man...until next time.
I met him and we literally only spoke for 1 minute, but I thought about him the rest of the day, and now we've been talking, and he's like...got me going crazy.
How do you fall into something so deep within a minute?! This is crazy, it might be infatuation, but I really hope it isn't. He makes me stop everything I'm doing. He makes me waste hours waiting to see his name pop up on facebook in hopes that he'll private chat me again.
The first time he did it, my heart sounded like the drum arrangement on Kelly Clarkson's song "Behind these Hazel Eyes". I almost had a panic attack and died.
See, this is why I try not to crush on guys too much. They throw me out of my game. Everyone thinks he likes me, and I hope he does, but then again i hope he doesn't because i am so scared. lol Hence the real reason I've never had a bf. idk what to do. =( And I'm scared it won't work or last. I don't wanna cry or break up or get dumped. Because..then what?
How can we still be friends. I'll always wonder "what if we didnt break up". But I suppose if I ran away now I'd always wonder "what if" anyway. So I'd rather experience it and KNOW what it's about, then sit outside and wonder the wrong "what if" for the rest of my life.
Man...until next time.
-Girl
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wassup again my Friend.
Ok so lately I've been a busy bee. Since I'm done highschool (finally man), I've been looking towards the future, and I'm excited. I've applied to some jobs, and I'm working on getting my license, FINALLY, and I will be getting my camera in a month. So WEEEEE MEEEEEEE.
(Sidebar):
One thing I've noticed, and HATE online high school for, is making me anti-social. I really am, and that scares me because I've never been anti-social before. In regular school I was the girl everyone knew, I was COOL. But now, now I'm THIS! A computer screen taped to me face, and a chick on a keyboard typing 1000 miles per minute, socializing. So one may wonder, "Ok so if you're socializing, then how are you anti-social" WELL it's because I can do this (types all over the keyboard really fast) all day, but I can't do this (moves my mouth). I freeze up next to people, well...certain people. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely capable of getting over this at any point and time, and day. I can social with people, it's just that I don't.
-sighs- I keep telling myself to CALL people, but then it's like...what if they're busy and they can't talk?! OH MY GOODNESS! How lame am I?! That's an excuse to not do it. Ok. Tonight...I'm gonna call somebody.
But that was NOT why I made this post. I made this post because I have a crush on this guy and I think he likes this other girl -cries-. It's not fair. None of the guys I like ever like me. This is lame-cicles. But I guess that's life. Maybe I'm not cool enough, or cute enough, or BAM WAM SHALAM enough.
Or maybe they think I'm not social enough.
In all cases. I'll get over it I suppose.
Have a great day little pucketts.
Until again...
(Sidebar):
One thing I've noticed, and HATE online high school for, is making me anti-social. I really am, and that scares me because I've never been anti-social before. In regular school I was the girl everyone knew, I was COOL. But now, now I'm THIS! A computer screen taped to me face, and a chick on a keyboard typing 1000 miles per minute, socializing. So one may wonder, "Ok so if you're socializing, then how are you anti-social" WELL it's because I can do this (types all over the keyboard really fast) all day, but I can't do this (moves my mouth). I freeze up next to people, well...certain people. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely capable of getting over this at any point and time, and day. I can social with people, it's just that I don't.
-sighs- I keep telling myself to CALL people, but then it's like...what if they're busy and they can't talk?! OH MY GOODNESS! How lame am I?! That's an excuse to not do it. Ok. Tonight...I'm gonna call somebody.
But that was NOT why I made this post. I made this post because I have a crush on this guy and I think he likes this other girl -cries-. It's not fair. None of the guys I like ever like me. This is lame-cicles. But I guess that's life. Maybe I'm not cool enough, or cute enough, or BAM WAM SHALAM enough.
Or maybe they think I'm not social enough.
In all cases. I'll get over it I suppose.
Have a great day little pucketts.
Until again...
-Girl.
With the Thought of a Friend
Pace yourself,
Breathe in, breathe out.
Express your world, but never shout.
He's standing there.
He hears it loud.
If he walks away.
Then he's struck out.
Embrace yourself.
And cry, and smile.
And bow your head, and blow it out.
He's standing there,
He knows by now.
I love him but he's just struck out.
He ignores my soul.
He sighs when I'm there.
He wants to be nice, but he knows he don't care.
He smiles sometimes, he likes to front.
I'd call him out, with words of blunt,
But if I do he'll never come, around,
But maybe that's not so wrong.
I love him but I know he won't.
He's never home, he hates it there.
The world is where he hides, he's scared.
He cuddles close to his feelings and when
He believes he's just a worthless man
He sulks insides his pain and dread,
and you'll never get him away from there.
He knows it but he loves the cold.
(Afraid the hawks will hunt his soul)
I wonder what really makes him shake,
The thought of care?
Or the comfort of pain?
He cares but in his mind it's "whatever".
In his heart he longs to find "forever".
And his soul, it aches to find warm weather.
He's been outside, and cold for so long.
But he will decline, if you bring him a home.
With fire, and cookies, and blankets, and light.
He's afraid to be soft, though he's putty inside.
I wonder what fathomed our worlds to collide.
I'm BAM! and I'm BOOM!
He's COUGH and he's SIGH.
But maybe the BOOM will break his behind.
I keep that thought in the front of my mind.
It brings me hope that my hearts not in vain,
That what I want for him, he wants just the same.
I care, and he cares, but the actions to blame.
When one heart's all go, and the others afraid.
So I
Pace myself,
Breathe in, breathe out.
Express my world, but never shout.
He's standing there,
He hears it loud.
If he walks away...
Then he's struck out.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Express your world, but never shout.
He's standing there.
He hears it loud.
If he walks away.
Then he's struck out.
Embrace yourself.
And cry, and smile.
And bow your head, and blow it out.
He's standing there,
He knows by now.
I love him but he's just struck out.
He ignores my soul.
He sighs when I'm there.
He wants to be nice, but he knows he don't care.
He smiles sometimes, he likes to front.
I'd call him out, with words of blunt,
But if I do he'll never come, around,
But maybe that's not so wrong.
I love him but I know he won't.
He's never home, he hates it there.
The world is where he hides, he's scared.
He cuddles close to his feelings and when
He believes he's just a worthless man
He sulks insides his pain and dread,
and you'll never get him away from there.
He knows it but he loves the cold.
(Afraid the hawks will hunt his soul)
I wonder what really makes him shake,
The thought of care?
Or the comfort of pain?
He cares but in his mind it's "whatever".
In his heart he longs to find "forever".
And his soul, it aches to find warm weather.
He's been outside, and cold for so long.
But he will decline, if you bring him a home.
With fire, and cookies, and blankets, and light.
He's afraid to be soft, though he's putty inside.
I wonder what fathomed our worlds to collide.
I'm BAM! and I'm BOOM!
He's COUGH and he's SIGH.
But maybe the BOOM will break his behind.
I keep that thought in the front of my mind.
It brings me hope that my hearts not in vain,
That what I want for him, he wants just the same.
I care, and he cares, but the actions to blame.
When one heart's all go, and the others afraid.
So I
Pace myself,
Breathe in, breathe out.
Express my world, but never shout.
He's standing there,
He hears it loud.
If he walks away...
Then he's struck out.
-With the Thought of a Friend, Written by: Christina Riggs
Friday, January 29, 2010
Um yeah, it's kinda IMPORTANT!!
For anyone out there that thinks that running away from your problems, or holding them inside of you, is going to benefit you in any way, please...stop!
That is the worst thing in the world you could ever do! We were not made to handle things on our own. why do you think God created Eve? Because he knew that, one Adam would want a mate like the animals had, but also because if Adam would have been on earth all alone, he would have went crazy! People need people. It's just the way we were designed. And it's so easy to feel like no one will ever understand what we're going through, or the fact that you just might be so afraid of what might happen once you let go. But i can promise you, you'll be surprised who understands, and you'll be so relieved once you let it go. You'll never grow if you hold on to it.
So i encourage you, find someone, MATURE, who can really help you. Someone you trust and feel so safe around. Someone you know is going to give you the BEST advice, not what you WANT to hear, but what you NEED to hear. Take it. Embrace it. Accept it. Love it.
And LIVE!
That is the worst thing in the world you could ever do! We were not made to handle things on our own. why do you think God created Eve? Because he knew that, one Adam would want a mate like the animals had, but also because if Adam would have been on earth all alone, he would have went crazy! People need people. It's just the way we were designed. And it's so easy to feel like no one will ever understand what we're going through, or the fact that you just might be so afraid of what might happen once you let go. But i can promise you, you'll be surprised who understands, and you'll be so relieved once you let it go. You'll never grow if you hold on to it.
So i encourage you, find someone, MATURE, who can really help you. Someone you trust and feel so safe around. Someone you know is going to give you the BEST advice, not what you WANT to hear, but what you NEED to hear. Take it. Embrace it. Accept it. Love it.
And LIVE!
-Girl
Friday, January 22, 2010
Coffee
Ok. So...I'm officially hooked on coffee. For years I was like "Oh, I don't like coffee", but my goodness, this Blue Mountain Coffee from Jamaica is the business!! Especially when you pair it with French Vanilla creme. Mmmmm...Slap yah momma for me will yah?
That jive is good. The coffee runs for about 30bucks BUUUUT, I've got the discount spot for yah, you can get it from Marshall's for about 5 bucks. It's so good. Shooot, it turnt me out!! But you have to be quick about it because people buy it up really fast, so if you see it there, then get it. I usually get the one in the blue pack, idk what the one in the orange one tastes like...shoot...it might just be the same in a different pack color. lol But in all cases:
Say it loud everyone! "I'm Blue and I'm proud"
-Girl
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Say...What!?
Howdy all! Just checking in, I'm bored at my aunts house taking care of my cousin and grandma, til 11am. My aunt has soooo many sweets in her house...I know it's a test. lol But I've been good and in control! lol
But um, I've started back up writing poetry again. I haven't written a poem in months which is bad because I used to write them every other day. I guess at some point in time, you just don't have the time to write three page, detailed poems about life cuz you're too busy living it. But it felt good, and I was interested to see how my perception and my poetry has changed over time. And I like the way I write now. I'm trying to get back to the old me. I was so international in my poetry, them suddenly I started writing about guys and...jive lol. I guess that happens when you get older. But, guys are no longer an issue anymore, cuz I don't have a crush on anybody! YAY! I'm so happy. That's like +20 mood points. (Ha. I got that from Sims 3)
Umm. What else? OH! I'm writing a story, it's a Sci-Fi Fantasy story lol. Which is pretty different cuz I've never written a story in that genre before; let's see...I've done Drama, Action/Adventure, Comedy, and I think that's it. But I like writing Fantasy because I get to create my own language which I am having a BALL doing. Want a sample of some words? ok.
No: Nai
Yes: Tes
And some other words of course, that I won't share lol. But trust, the rest of the language is interesting. lol I'm writing the story on Notepad instead of Word. IDK. I love the default font on Notepad, and I just love the original feel it gives, and I love how it looks, It's amazing. Although it lacks things that Word has, it doesn't lack in any necessity.
I also got back to working on my clothing line. I stopped for a while. But I recently had this cool idea to do for an accessory, so I went ahead and drew and outfit for it too. I love my clothing line, I think it represents the kind of girl I am, PERFECTLY and TOTALLY.
But in all cases, I hope everyone's having a great day today. I have a busy one ahead. I have 2 parts at my meeting tonight, so I'm kind of nervous. But I'll get over it.
But um, I've started back up writing poetry again. I haven't written a poem in months which is bad because I used to write them every other day. I guess at some point in time, you just don't have the time to write three page, detailed poems about life cuz you're too busy living it. But it felt good, and I was interested to see how my perception and my poetry has changed over time. And I like the way I write now. I'm trying to get back to the old me. I was so international in my poetry, them suddenly I started writing about guys and...jive lol. I guess that happens when you get older. But, guys are no longer an issue anymore, cuz I don't have a crush on anybody! YAY! I'm so happy. That's like +20 mood points. (Ha. I got that from Sims 3)
Umm. What else? OH! I'm writing a story, it's a Sci-Fi Fantasy story lol. Which is pretty different cuz I've never written a story in that genre before; let's see...I've done Drama, Action/Adventure, Comedy, and I think that's it. But I like writing Fantasy because I get to create my own language which I am having a BALL doing. Want a sample of some words? ok.
No: Nai
Yes: Tes
And some other words of course, that I won't share lol. But trust, the rest of the language is interesting. lol I'm writing the story on Notepad instead of Word. IDK. I love the default font on Notepad, and I just love the original feel it gives, and I love how it looks, It's amazing. Although it lacks things that Word has, it doesn't lack in any necessity.
I also got back to working on my clothing line. I stopped for a while. But I recently had this cool idea to do for an accessory, so I went ahead and drew and outfit for it too. I love my clothing line, I think it represents the kind of girl I am, PERFECTLY and TOTALLY.
But in all cases, I hope everyone's having a great day today. I have a busy one ahead. I have 2 parts at my meeting tonight, so I'm kind of nervous. But I'll get over it.
-Girl
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